Put a Stop to Negative Thoughts and Self-Talk

STRESS. Seamless vector background.There are several methods you can utilize to stop those crazy ass thoughts that are sabotaging you and steering you wrong every time. From Hypnotherapy, Meditation, NLP and just plain ignoring them, it all comes down to choice. You have to choose to change. The reality is that when you really listen, these thoughts are often not even yours to begin with.

You see, we come into this world whole and complete. Just watch a normal 2-year-old and they will prove to you that the world revolves around them. This is not a bad thing. However, things like good parenting, society and other peoples’ limiting beliefs and damage begin to erode that wonderful power of I AM.

Here are four simple methods you can use to put a stop to that negative internal dialogue, which criticizes you, sabotages you, depresses you, berates and belittles you.

Reframing: Reframing is a way to change meaning. Listen carefully to the negative things you are saying to yourself to determine whether there is an underlying positive intention. In other words, maybe the message is negative, but the underlying intent is positive. If so, find something else to say to validate the intention without the negative language. Suppose you’ve been saying to yourself, “I’m too clumsy to exercise.” The positive intention is that you exercise safely, the reframe would be, “I choose to exercise in a safe manner.”

Refuting: When you say something negative and irrational to yourself, convince yourself that the negative message just isn’t true and, in fact, it’s silly and ridiculous. Give yourself the evidence to refute the negative, irrational statement. An example would be “I’m so clumsy I trip on shadows and sunbeams.” There is no reality to that statement; it is pure and simple nonsense. You can begin to let go of your grip on the negative personal soundtrack when you see how ridiculous it really is.

Refusal: Refuse to entertain the negative messages. Refuse to dwell on them. You can say: “Stop,” “Cancel,” “Disregard,” or simply imagine that your mind is like a radio that can play a lot of different things, based on where you set the dial. If you don’t like what’s going on in your mind, turn the dial to a new frequency. Change the direction the negative thoughts are taking you. Make a choice. Sometimes it can simply begin with saying, “Until now” to qualify the thought. For example, if the thought is “I’ve never been happy” add “until now” and see how powerful the new message is.

Replacement: Replace and counter each negative message with a positive message immediately. Again, choice is the key here. Problem behaviors develop because of problematic thinking. Isn’t it strange that so many people are reluctant to think positive thoughts such as “I love and accept myself,” yet are eager to think negative thoughts such as “I’m not worthy”? Those kinds of thoughts keep people stuck. Every thought, negative or positive, is a direct instruction to the mind-body neurology, which strives to make those thoughts come true. The conscious mind is the goal-setter, the creative consciousness the goal-getter. Thoughts are powerful and words are spells.

Change your internal imagery: What movies do you play in your mind? What pictures are you looking at? Do you replay depressing movies of defeat and disappointment? Change your imagery to happy, healthy images with positive meanings. Every accomplishment begins with thought. Your thoughts create your beliefs, your beliefs create your behaviors and your behaviors ultimately create the world around you. Be mindful of your thoughts.

How to Deal with Fear

Fear“If I weren’t afraid, I would …”

These are five simple words they can really get you thinking about what is in your life that’s really holding you back. The first time I heard this statement was a couple of years ago. I went through the exercise, I filled in the blank — several times, actually — and each time it made me more acutely aware of the fact that I was the one holding me back.

Often it isn’t external forces that create our barriers in life but the internal ones, the stories we tell ourselves. Some of the stories come from childhood.

I had a client a couple of years ago who had been working with a story she created when she was five years old; she was now in her sixties. For 62 years she was working off a flawed belief system. The story was a valid one when she created it as a five year old. It served its purpose. She just failed to develop beyond that point, and lived with the story for the next 62 years. It caused her a lot of discomfort and disharmony until she learned how to move beyond it. Once we were able to identify this story as a flawed belief and re-path her beliefs into a valid reality, she was able to release the hurt and anger that was a major theme in her life. She has since reported that happiness comes easier, and the anger and the disappointments that she felt were prevalent in her life have all but fallen away.

Fear can serve a purpose. Its predominant role is to keep you safe, to keep you from taking unnecessary risks. The problem arises when no risks are taken, when no chances are taken, and when there is no momentum at all.

After taking the time to do this exercise I realized that there really is so little to fear in this life. I now understand that fear, discomfort, nervousness, and excitement are essentially all the same energy — the difference is what value we place on it.

From now on I choose to place the value of excitement on things I’ve never done. I choose to place the value of excitement on things I’m nervous about doing. I choose to place the value of excitement and the belief that I can do it on things that challenge me.

Henry Ford said it best: “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t you are right.” It all starts with your beliefs.

The Reluctant Psychic

There comes a time when you really have to take a look at what it is you’re doing with your life. That time came for me when I was 35 years old; I’d spent many years in the corporate healthcare environment and expected that would be my career through my retirement. However, at 35 I was told something very different. This information didn’t come from within, nor did it come from a career advisor.

Ultimately, it came from a psychic.

Photo courtesy cogdog via Flickr.
Photo courtesy cogdog via Flickr.

It could have come from a fortune cookie, a dream, or a drunken bender; any of those I would’ve taken more seriously than a psychic. Be that as it may, a psychic it was. I paid for psychic readings maybe a half dozen times in my life up to that point. I believed to a certain extent we all had psychic abilities, but psychic readings were for fun or entertainment — certainly not for changing your entire career path.

I’ll never forget her words. “What is your question?”
“I don’t have a question.”
She asked me again, “What is your question?”
I responded in the same manner, “I don’t have a question.”
“Sure you do, that’s really why I’m here.”

That was when the tears began to flow. I was shaking inside, I had no idea how my life
was going to change but I knew it would. My question was how much of the activity I was experiencing in the house was about me. She smiled and patted my hand, “All of it, don’t you understand?” The reality was I didn’t understand. I had no idea. All I knew was that I was living in a home with spirit activity. I experienced the majority of it, but others experienced it as well. She explained that spirit was so very excited from the moment I first stepped into the home that I could see, I could hear, I could feel their presence. She went on to explain that I had a tremendous gift and with that gift an incredible responsibility. She described my abilities as being stronger than most. She explained that within 10 years I would be working exclusively doing readings, séance, mediumship and ultimately missing persons. My head began to swim. It made no sense. It was crazy talk, and I think my direct quote was something along the lines of “There is no f’n way!”

I guess I was so left-brained, so logical in my thought process, that the concept of using my intuitive abilities to help others was beyond comprehension. She explained that it was quite a calling to work with people in this way, to give them closure.

She called it a blessing.

I have to say she was right; she is right. It is a blessing that I get to deliver love and messages of hope from the other side to the loved ones left behind. I get to facilitate healing. And on the rare occasions when I have to deal with difficult or painful information, I know that what I’m giving the client is ultimately peace of mind, knowledge, and closure. It is a blessing. I’m blessed every day. Here I am serving people in a way I never imagined possible, feeling happier than I have ever been, and with more peace in my life than I could imagine at the age of 35.

If you find your life not working for you, or something just doesn’t fit, then maybe it’s time for a psychic reading or fortune cookie or just some good old-fashioned introspection. When you’re walking your path, the one that serves your spirit, you find yourself in the flow of joy and abundance.

Why You Should Be Eating a Balanced Breakfast

A balanced breakfast is most certainly not a muffin in one hand and coffee in the other. People often get hung up on what a balanced breakfast is. Heck, people get hung up on breakfast in and of itself. I’ve heard every excuse from I don’t have time, I’m not sure what
balanced is, I can’t eat in the morning, I grabbed a coffee, and I’m just not hungry. But these are all excuses.

Studies have shown it really is the most important meal of the day. Breakfast provides you with the energy and nutrients needed to have a productive morning; whether you’re learning, working, or just hanging out, you have gone anywhere from 6 to 12 hours without eating, and it’s important to break that fast.

Having breakfast helps keep your metabolism at peak performance. It reduces the urge to snack on foods high in fat and sugar. You are more likely to get your proper daily intake of vitamins and minerals when you eat breakfast in the morning. Eating breakfast is also essential in maintaining healthy body weight.

It’s important when considering a balanced breakfast that you incorporate high-quality proteins (eggs, nuts, lean meats like chicken or fish); they are digested more slowly, so they allow you to feel fuller longer. Secondly, include complex carbohydrates (whole grains, fruits and vegetables). Most people don’t get adequate fiber to begin with, so adding these to your breakfast will help you get closer to your daily requirements. Healthy fats (dairy, olive oil, and avocados), when included in your morning breakfast, have been proven to lower your overall fat intake throughout the day.

Vegetable omelet

Here are five quick and easy balanced breakfast ideas.

1. Veggie omelet with cheese — Two eggs, minced veggies and 1 ounce of cheese can be easily prepared in less than five minutes. You can also get a nifty little device that allows you to microwave the omelet.

2. Whole-grain waffle with almond or peanut butter — This one actually makes it to the portable category. Toast the waffle, smear a little nut butter on it, and you can eat this on the run.

3. Fruit smoothie — A handful of strawberries, almond milk and a blast in the blender and you have another breakfast on the run.

4. Turkey roll up — Two slices of turkey breast rolled around a piece of string cheese and a handful of whole wheat crackers; easy and portable.

5. Oatmeal with fruit and nuts — This is my personal favorite. I probably eat this five days
out of the week; once a week I make a large pot of steel cut oats. I make the oatmeal
with water so that all I have to do is microwave my serving each morning. I then add a
splash of milk, a small pat of butter, and whatever I feel like having that day (chopped pecans, chopped almonds, canned pumpkin, dried cherries, golden raisins, minced apple, dried apricots, dried cranberries, fresh blueberries/raspberries or strawberries). It’s healthy instant oatmeal made for pennies per serving and exactly the way I want it.

Give breakfast a try. I guarantee you’ll feel much better in the long run.