Browse Category: Empowerment

I’m Calling Bullshit!

BULLSHIT rubber stampover a white background.
BULLSHIT rubber stampover a white background.

Here’s the thing. I’m never going to be able to do the work for you.

As much as I’d like to, as easy as it might be, and as much as I might want it more for you than you do yourself – this is your life. These are your responsibilities.

So when you don’t apply the tools, techniques, or exercises that you have invested in via my programs, you’re not just wasting your time and money. You’re also wasting my time and energy. And that pisses me off.  Because time is the only real currency that we have.

And if I’m investing my time and energy in you, it’s because I believe you can succeed.

Then when you show up to your appointments, our programs, or events, and you haven’t completed your action items, you are now robbing me of my resources.

As your coach/counselor/teacher/mentor/trainer/health partner, it is my responsibility to call bullshit when I see it.  And I’m calling bullshit now!  I understand there are times that life’s little emergencies get in the way. But you know who you are – you still believe you can hold accountability outside of yourself. You still believe it’s everyone else and not you. I’m here to tell you that you have the success or lack thereof that you have earned.

Now, if you’re ready to get back to the business of changing your life: Do. The. Work.

What step do you need to take before you can attract happiness?

Listen in: http://bit.ly/lijl072114mp3

D

9 Things Wealthy People Do That Can Help You On Your Path to Prosperity

Unless you are born with a silver spoon or have figured out a way to predetermine the Powerball numbers, you’re going to have to work to build your wealth.

In every outcome, there are strategies involved to get there. The wealthy who have built and maintained their fortunes have consistent behaviors.

Money treeHere are nine things wealthy people do; let’s see how your behavior stack up.

  1. Have Clearly-Defined Goals Written Out. Seems simple enough. A goal that isn’t written out and given a date is simply wishful thinking.
  2. Maintain a To Do List. This is about building wins into every day. Celebrate what you can accomplish, and keep track of what yet needs to be done.
  3. Take Ownership for Behaviors and Habits. Having a victim mentality keeps you disempowered. PERIOD. When you own it you can change it.
  4. Read 30 or More Minutes a Day. This is what’s going to keep you sharp. Your brain behaves in the same manner muscle will, so use it or lose it.
  5. Consistently Work Towards Personal Development. When you invest in yourself the universe recognizes it, and others will invest in you. 
  6. Believe and Invest in Ongoing Education. Because you don’t know what you don’t know.
  7. Network Five or More Hours a Month. There is partnership and opportunity potential in every encounter. This doesn’t mean you’re selling to everybody, it means you understand that each one of us carries a piece to this puzzle we call life.
  8. Limit Television Viewing. I’d like to say it rots your brain, but I’d be lying. It does however suck up a tremendous amount of time and energy that could be put to use on any of the other number of items you might have trouble finding time for.
  9. Exercise for Health. Again, use it or lose it. Exercise improves circulation which aids cognitive function, memory, and critical thinking. And let’s imagine you make your millions and you’re too tired to appreciate your wealth. Wouldn’t that be terrible?

So in short, if you don’t have a roadmap for where you’re going – a guide to determine where you’ve been – a desire to improve your mind – willingness to own your outcomes – belief that you can’t do it alone – understanding of appropriate use of creative time – and motivation to move your body; you’re simply not going to find the path to prosperity.

John Burgos found that his difficulties in business were a reflection of his personal life. Listen in: http://bit.ly/LIJL052114mp3

D

Not Happy with Your Life? Ask Yourself These Questions

When clients seek me out, they have one thing in common: they’re not happy with some aspect of their life. Be it love, money, family, health, work, time management or their physical surroundings, they’ve let excuses cloud the vision of their vision.

I’m not saying excuses aren’t legitimate issues. I’m just saying excuses cloud your vision. So let’s wipe those clouds away and ask the really tough questions that might just make all the difference in your life.

Beautiful woman enjoying lifeWhat are you tolerating?  You have to understand that you are settling for something here, as opposed to aiming for a bigger goal. Tolerating does not get you the highest and best outcome available to you.

What are you avoiding?  Avoidance is not resolution. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – step up and deal with it. Whatever it is. You can’t get past it if you’re not willing to put it behind you. That may take work, healing, forgiveness … hey, you’ve been avoiding it for a reason.

Who are you blaming?  I often say when little Timmy comes home from school and complains that all his teachers hate him it’s time to take a look at Timmy. There’s a good chance Timmy is the problem. In all seriousness, you are exactly where you are because you haven’t chosen to change. I’m not saying you haven’t experienced bad things; what I’m saying is you decided to let them define you.

Excuses distract you. They keep you from seeing what it is that will make things better. Tolerating – Avoiding – Blaming are never going to empower you to the life you really want to live.

Now that you know, it’s time to do the work.

Want to reclaim your essence? We can do it all – we just have to do it smart.

Listen in: http://bit.ly/LIJL073114mp3

Mea Culpa: How to Apologize

Forgive me message

I recently made a mistake. A very costly mistake. It cost me money, time and energy. However, the true value of the cost to me was that it may have cost me a friendship.

I spent a couple of weeks really beating myself up over the circumstances. This person said they needed time to come to terms with how I had failed them. That was a very bitter pill for me to swallow. I do my best to always do my best. And yes, I had failed. Still, I had to understand where they were and allow them their space. And yes, it hurt.

What I will share with you from this experience is that I had an opportunity to apologize in the best and most sincere way I know how.

As a child I was taught to apologize predominantly to my sibling. It went kind of like this:

Mom: “Tell your sister you’re sorry!”

Me: “Sorry…” (Insert eye rolling, insincere tone, and desire to get back to whatever the hell I was doing the moment before)

You see, I wasn’t really sorry for what I had done, I was sorry I had gotten caught.

Now as an adult when I’ve done something that warrants apology it is sincere and heartfelt. But sometimes it is not enough. I am coming to terms with that. I still have a hope that we can rebuild our friendship and move beyond this.

If you ever find yourself in a position where you need to apologize and you haven’t been taught how to do it in the most appropriate manner, here is a tool that can help.

Admit it. Be specific. This is where you communicate that you understand what they are upset about.

Script starter: “I’m sorry that I ____.” (Do not use “I’m sorry you are upset”; this is your opportunity to take responsibility for what you did.)

Describe why you were wrong. This is where you clarify your understanding of why they’re upset and your opportunity to take ownership of your behavior.

Script starter: “This is wrong because _____.” 

Promise to be better. Identify for them what you will differently; use positive language to tell them what you will do, not what you won’t do.

Script starter: “In the future, I will _____.”

Ask forgiveness. There’s no rule that says they have to forgive you and I cannot guarantee that you will be forgiven; that’s always up to the individual who’s been wronged. They have every right to their feelings and every right to their decision-making. It’s not for you to understand, agree with or accept. Ultimately, you simply must respect their decision, and yourself.

Script starter: “Will you forgive me?”  

“If you don’t change your thinking, you’ll keep creating the same patterns over and over.” Listen in: http://bit.ly/LIJL071514mp3

Do You Know What You Really Want? More Importantly Do You Know Why?

I do an exercise in one of my programs – Lessons and Healing Choices – that addresses what we perceive as goals. The WHAT we want in life.

And very often we get fixated on that what. We can’t see past it, we may only see one path to it, and it may be out of reach for us.

chalkboard with interrogation symbolThe long and the short of it is it’s not so much the what as much as the WHY. Why do we want what we want? What does it represent to us? Those are the more important questions to be asking.

So the next time you’re having trouble achieving a goal, determine your why. It may provide you the motivation you need, an alternate direction to take, or the focus you’ve been missing.

Here’s a simplified version of that exercise:

  1. Write your goal down
  2. Why do you want this?
  3. What will it give you?
  4. Why would you want that?
  5. What would that give you? (See a pattern here?)
  6. Do this a few times until you get a loop that repeats itself
  7. The final questions is: What will this make you feel?

When you understand how you’re going to feel about achieving this, it can provide the missing motivation you need. It will give you insight into the other ways to skin a cat – since there’s more than one way! Or, it will clear all the clutter and chatter that may be taking up valuable real estate in your mind.

Read more about my goal-setting programs and training opportunities at kimberlyrinaldi.com/training.