Browse Category: Empowerment

How to Deal with Fear

Fear“If I weren’t afraid, I would …”

These are five simple words they can really get you thinking about what is in your life that’s really holding you back. The first time I heard this statement was a couple of years ago. I went through the exercise, I filled in the blank — several times, actually — and each time it made me more acutely aware of the fact that I was the one holding me back.

Often it isn’t external forces that create our barriers in life but the internal ones, the stories we tell ourselves. Some of the stories come from childhood.

I had a client a couple of years ago who had been working with a story she created when she was five years old; she was now in her sixties. For 62 years she was working off a flawed belief system. The story was a valid one when she created it as a five year old. It served its purpose. She just failed to develop beyond that point, and lived with the story for the next 62 years. It caused her a lot of discomfort and disharmony until she learned how to move beyond it. Once we were able to identify this story as a flawed belief and re-path her beliefs into a valid reality, she was able to release the hurt and anger that was a major theme in her life. She has since reported that happiness comes easier, and the anger and the disappointments that she felt were prevalent in her life have all but fallen away.

Fear can serve a purpose. Its predominant role is to keep you safe, to keep you from taking unnecessary risks. The problem arises when no risks are taken, when no chances are taken, and when there is no momentum at all.

After taking the time to do this exercise I realized that there really is so little to fear in this life. I now understand that fear, discomfort, nervousness, and excitement are essentially all the same energy — the difference is what value we place on it.

From now on I choose to place the value of excitement on things I’ve never done. I choose to place the value of excitement on things I’m nervous about doing. I choose to place the value of excitement and the belief that I can do it on things that challenge me.

Henry Ford said it best: “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t you are right.” It all starts with your beliefs.